Pietenpol-List: lighter side
Posted: Fri Sep 18, 1998 9:57 pm
Original Posted By: Greg Yotz
This has nothing to due with planes or piets, but it showedup in my email at work. Hope you folks enjoy it.BillAt a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedlycompared thecomputer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GMhad kept up withtechnology like the computer industry has, we would all bedrivingtwenty-five-dollar cars that got 1000 miles to thegallon." In response toBill's comments, General Motors issued a press releasestating:If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would allbe driving cars with the following characteristics:1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice aday.2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you wouldhave tobuy a new car.3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for noreason, andyou would just accept this, restart and drive on.4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn,would causeyour car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which caseyou would have to reinstall the engine.5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless youbought"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy moreseats.6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,reliable,five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but wouldonly run on five percent of the roads.7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lightswould bereplaced by a single "general car default" warning light.8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sizebutt.9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before goingoff.10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car wouldlock you outand refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted thedoor handle,turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase adeluxe set ofRand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even thoughthey neither need them nor want them. Attempting to deletethis option would immediately cause the car's performance todiminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a targetfor investigation by the Justice Department.12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers wouldhave to learnhow to drive all over again because none of the controlswould operate inthe same manner as the old car.13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.________________________________________________________________________________
This has nothing to due with planes or piets, but it showedup in my email at work. Hope you folks enjoy it.BillAt a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedlycompared thecomputer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GMhad kept up withtechnology like the computer industry has, we would all bedrivingtwenty-five-dollar cars that got 1000 miles to thegallon." In response toBill's comments, General Motors issued a press releasestating:If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would allbe driving cars with the following characteristics:1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice aday.2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you wouldhave tobuy a new car.3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for noreason, andyou would just accept this, restart and drive on.4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn,would causeyour car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which caseyou would have to reinstall the engine.5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless youbought"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy moreseats.6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,reliable,five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but wouldonly run on five percent of the roads.7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lightswould bereplaced by a single "general car default" warning light.8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sizebutt.9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before goingoff.10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car wouldlock you outand refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted thedoor handle,turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase adeluxe set ofRand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even thoughthey neither need them nor want them. Attempting to deletethis option would immediately cause the car's performance todiminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a targetfor investigation by the Justice Department.12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers wouldhave to learnhow to drive all over again because none of the controlswould operate inthe same manner as the old car.13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.________________________________________________________________________________